I planned on riding Raptor down to Savannah, Georgia this weekend to spend some time with friends from Ars Technica. I’ve been planning this trip for awhile, and I hoped this would be the “shake-down” cruise for my cross-country trip in June.

The problem is that there’s a 30% chance of thunderstorms when I’m traveling from Richmond to Georgia. And it’s supposed to be bloody hot.

I have gear to handle one or the other. My textile waterproof jacket will be great if I get caught in a storm, but it won’t breathe as well as my perforated leather gear. However, leather soaks up water like a sponge if I do get caught in the rain. I think either way I am going to be uncomfortable.

There is the option on bailing on the motorcycle altogether and driving my Mazda down. Just seems like a waste of an opportunity to ride.

Would you rather be rain-soaked and cooler, or dry but burning up? It’s supposed to be 90°F over the weekend; the warmest I’ve been in textile is 84°F and it was unpleasant but tolerable. I think I may go with the leather and deal with the consequences.

I’ve owned my BMW KT 1200 LE motorcycle for about five weeks now. I knew I was in for a huge change from Cylon, my FZ6 sport standard. Cylon weighs just about half of what Raptor does. I was a mess when I got my BMW. It felt like I was learning to ride all over again. I almost dumped the bike at the first stoplight because it was so heavy and I couldn’t “cheat” on my technique by muscling the bike. Raptor felt big, oafish, and clumsy.

I suspected, but now firmly believe, that this has more to do with me than it does with the bike.
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I thought I’d post another one of these while I eat lunch, since we all seemed to like the other one so much.

This is one of the motivational posters in the stairwell at work:

I hate to bag on it, but here we go.

What the hell does this mean? I think it’s something about being collaborative, but it could also be about lending enthusiasm. Or expertise. Or maybe it’s a suggestion for people dropping nasty shits in the bathrooms: BRING A CANDLE.

I work for a very large company that has a ton of money. Why can’t we hire someone who knows the difference between “its” and “it’s?” At least they didn’t type “looses” instead of “loses.”

Gather ’round, and listen to ol’ DrFaulken talk about the biggest piece of crap he’s ever had the displeasure of buying.

A GPS should do the following things:

1. Get you from point A to point B according to your preferences.
2. Quickly receive a GPS signal.
3. Be accurate.
4. Contain current maps and points of interest (POI) relevant to time of manufacture. I don’t expect a GPS unit made in 2003 to ship with current maps, for example.

I really liked my Garmin i5 but there were a few extra features I was looking for that my trusty car-mounted GPS lacked:

• Handheld and portable. I wanted to have a GPS that I could take with me once I left my car (or motorcycle). I get lost easily, and as such don’t venture out on foot once I reach my destination. I hoped a handheld unit would change that a little.
• Touch screen. It’s 2008. I didn’t mind the i5 not having a touch screen, but if I am going to buy a current-gen GPS device I want it to have a few more bells and whistles.

The Navigon 2100 did a great job at being portable, but as far as all of my other criteria? Hand me a compass, please. And I don’t even know how to fucking use one of those.
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I thought you might like to see what my dogs do while I am slaving away to make enough money to buy them cookies.

Sorry for the quality, they came from a cameraphone but were just so cute I had to post them.
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These are the “motivational” posters that I mentioned in my previous post. There is one in every level in every main stairwell.

I don’t know what’s more scary: that someone came up with this, or someone approved it.

What the fuck does this even mean??

I had a doubly-interesting commute on new motorcycle, Raptor. The first item of interest was the weather. I got rained for about twenty minutes. I was geared up, and my textile motorcycle jacket did a great job keeping me dry. Fully extended, the windshield protected my helmet visor from being obscured with rain. Unfortunately the aerodynamics of the bike are such that so much rain accumulated on the screen that I wound up lowering it so I could see … which put rain all over my visor. Six one way, half a dozen the other.

I was zipping down the highway when I approached two dump trucks, traveling single file (to hide their numbers) in the left-hand lane. I passed the first one on the right when I saw some pigeons flying about in the median. I didn’t pay any attention to them but two seconds later there was a shower of feathers in front of the lead dump truck. Apparently one of the birds was so overcome by Firefly’s cancellation it just couldn’t take it any more.

I instinctively ducked under the windshield (fully extended) and rode through a bunch of feathers. I heard a “flthlunk,” and there was a half-dollar sized piece of pigeon … stuff … on the dead center of my windshield. It wound up getting washed away later in the rain, but I can’t help but wonder how that would have felt if I was riding a naked bike.

Anyway, the bike’s doing great. It was just as stable in the downpour this morning as it is on dry land, and now I know it can take a pigeon strike and keep on ticking. ;)

Yes, I know this is similar to the title I used when I wrote about the hardwood stump borers I find every now and then. But these bugs are just as damn scary, and this time they are inside the house.
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The new job is going really well. I had my first wireframe review with my boss yesterday. I came armed with Visio wireframes and a sheet detailing what I changed and why. I comped three different approaches and gave her a quick run-down on the pros and cons of each. I probably talked a little bit faster than normal, and at the end told her everything was negotiable and asked her if she had any questions. After my experience at my last contract I expected an earful, with borderline accusations about whether or not I was qualified to even do my job.

“Questions? No. Looks great!” she said. “Pass this on to the other project members. Good job.”

Holy shit … maybe it wasn’t me at the last job after all. Crazy ex-boss-lady. ><

The commute is becoming manageable. I have taken some very good advice from Starbuck and take two different routes. The morning route is up the toll road, and the afternoon route is via a longer, but toll-free route. They wind up taking the same amount of time (30 - 45 minutes, depending on accidents). The biggest strength of the afternoon route is that I avoid toll plazas and other slowdowns that make riding a motorcycle less fun.

Speaking of bikes, Raptor has been great. I rode him in two days this week. Cylon looked sad and neglected, so I brought him along today instead. There is such a difference in performance and demeanor between the two bikes I wonder how anyone who hasn’t owned more than one motorcycle can ever say that one type is “better” than the other. What an amazing thing, this motorcycling.

Dogs have been adjusting well — probably too well as I almost want them to be as devastated by the hours apart as I have been. Luckily Starbuck has been taking care of them, as my niece has ducked her responsibilities for watching them during the day. She’s moving out in the next week or so, and I’m glad for many reasons.

The corporate culture over here is a huge shift for me. I wear a dress shirt and dress pants every day, and about half of the people here don’t smile or say hello. It’s as sterile as can be; I’m going to sneak some pics of the “motivational” posters in the stairwells. It feels so Orwellian. Unfortunately (I guess?), the people here are really excited that I’m on board and want me to help them. They have done the best they can, and are either out of their element or too busy to do much more. I almost wish the entire job sucked so that I would be totally happy about leaving when my contract is up, but I feel like professionally this could be a very rewarding experience.

Break time’s almost up. I have discovered that there is an unsecured wireless access point for contractors that doesn’t have the restrictions of the corporate network. I try to stay on for my lunch break and then reconnect to the real network after.

Thanks for reading, I’ve missed writing.

It’s a good thing I don’t believe in omens. Otherwise I wouldn’t have shown up for my first day of work yesterday. Besides the natural sizes (full moon, torrential downpour), there were a few portents that almost kept me in bed.

I also missed my alarm. I sat up bolt upright in bed, and had snapped the table lamp on without realizing it. My heart pounded in my chest, and I picked up my watch to see what time it was. I hadn’t missed my alarm at all: it was 12:34, just a half hour after I had closed my eyes.

This is the first time I had to regularly report to a position within “normal” business hours since 1999. It’s unnatural — and highly undesireable — to wake up before 8:30, let alone be in dress code at my desk. I am pretty sure my little “alarm” anxiety is due to this, hopefully it won’t happen again.

I also treated myself to a zombie dream. I only have those when work is stressful. The zombie theme combined with my guns jamming in the dream … not the first time this has happened, but certainly the first time this happened prior to starting a new position.

Lastly … I got a new video card from someone on Ars, and either the card itself or the drivers for said card corrupted my Windows XP install. My XP install CD developed some kind of cancer since I used it last and wouldn’t load critical DLLs during the install. I tried making a new boot disc, but the only computer left in the house with a media burner was my file server … which had its resolution set too high for my spare monitor. Starbuck took pity on me and brought over her XP install disk. I’m trying to rebuild the machine as I write this. At least I had a spare hard drive just for this purpose.

I am going to try really hard to remain positive about my new job. As a few of my friends have already said, “at least it’s not [the last place you worked].” Yeah, we’re also only on day two, but the drive in and the corporate culture is already making me nervous.

Wednesday is a new day.