Just about everyone else is writing recaps of 2006 — which sounds like a lot of work. I decided to take the Nostradamus route and make five predictions for 2007. Unlike the long bearded-Frenchman, my predictions won’t be in the forms of riddles or abstract prose.
Here we go:
- The United States will go to war with Iran. There is too much saber-rattling on behalf of Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad for George W. to let slide. I’m not belittling the casualties in Iraq, but we’ll see more war-like casualty numbers if we tangle with Iran. At this point, I’d much rather support a war in Iran than one in Iraq.
- I will divest myself of Inara, my Pontiac Solstice. I would have ditched her sooner, but the wintertime is the wrong time to sell a convertible.
- I will get laid off in June. Re-employment options include hit man or coffee shop manager. Maybe both.
- The AD&D campaign played at my house will dissolve as The Proto-Lawyer™ graduates and moves up to Northern Virginia to live with The Accountant™.
- A major repair for the house. I am strongly leaning towards water heater failure. The poor thing is almost fifteen years old.
Runner up: a dirty nuclear bomb detonated in a major US city, with the world unable to point fingers at either Iran or North Korea. The US and the rest of the world will do nothing except make it harder to brush your teeth, file your nails, or carry shampoo aboard an airplane.
Here’s to a fucking grim 2007!