Motorcyclists spend a lot of time worrying about things while they are in motion. How’s my speed? What’s in front of me? Any critters to the side? Is that car coming up behind me going to slow down? There are lots of things to track, but vigilance doesn’t stop once you’ve parked at your destination. Parking presents a few challenges of their own. Here are some tips about “surviving” a parking experience.
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I came home early today, and as I merged onto the toll road portion of my commute, I noticed a strange motorcyclist/motorcycle combination.

I was still pretty far off, but from his riding posture, attire, and motorcycle I got the impression he was a motorcycle law enforcement officer. The tan, short-sleeve shirt, the upright riding position forced by a bullet-resistant vest, and the low-slung but voluminous saddlebags on the cruiser-style bike all fit the profile of a mounted cop.

As I approached, however, things didn’t add up. The saddlebags were leather and not metal or plastic as seen on other police bikes. As I approached, I noted his helmet was a “skid lid” style and not the three-quarter helmet commonly worn by officers. The motorcycle was out of spec, too — it was a metallic red Harley with chrome pipes. He was, however, wearing a county police officer’s uniform, complete with duty belt and service pistol.

What followed was the most amusing and interesting riding companion I’ve had to date. A motorcycling police officer who wasn’t a motorcycle police officer; someone who was to obey the rules of the road yet motored by the motorcyclist’s rules of survival.

I rode behind him and offset to one side, as is the recommendation by the Motorcycle Safety Foundation and other organizations. This allowed us to present the biggest profile to other traffic, and at least six headlights — as I run four forward lights on my bike. I kept a medium distance from him, close enough to discourage cars from getting in between us, but not so close as to crowd him.

It happened that he followed me almost all the way home, and lives somewhere in my (rather large) subdivision. I could tell that he was new, or recently returned, to motorcycling by the way he navigated the sweeping turns on the way home. He kept high in the turn and was reluctant to establish a tight line that you would expect from a sportbike rider. I kept a respectful distance, but leaned the bike over a lot more and did a more traditional outer-inner-outer line. He was nervous when he merged with traffic, and I did my best to get into a lane before him and communicate with him via arm signals. In essence, I ran blocker on the majority of the highway part of the commute home.

Anyway, I wasn’t sure where he was headed, so when we exited the highway I gave him a crisp (albeit left-handed) salute. I really enjoyed following him, and he made a good unusual companion on an otherwise mundane ride home.

I played in the Magic: the Gathering pre-release tournament yesterday for Zendikar, the latest set in the old and wildly popular collectible card game. The event was held at Richmond Comix. There was a larger pre-release event at the Richmond Convention Center on Saturday; attendance was estimated at about three hundred folks. However, going to the more personal event at Richmond Comix reminded me why I started (and re-started) playing Magic in the first place: the people I met and having fun.
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The biggest problem for me with riding a motorcycle mid-distance is “saddle comfort.” That’s a nice way of saying that my butt, legs, and knees start to hurt after awhile. Lack of circulation is the major culprit. There are a few causes for this, and over the years I have done my best to mitigate them:

1. Too soft or too hard of a seat (what makes a seat too soft or too hard depends a lot on a person’s body).
2. Seams of underwear, pants, or riding pants that pass under the legs. These create pressure points.
3. Being able to move your feet and legs around. Ideally this means highway pegs, although I can’t do that safely on my FJR.

Some riders put “toppers” on their seats to help with blood flow and heat management. Folks who don’t wear wicking bottoms or ride in street clothes often have a problem with rashes associated with heat and sweat. This is called “monkey butt” in the motorcycling world. I’ve never experienced it, but encouraging airflow and temperature management seems to help. A sheepskin pad (fluffy side up) is supposed to help with monkey butt and adds a little bit of comfort to a ride, but I don’t think it would help in my case.

The other topper people frequently try is the BeadRider, which is a motorcycle-version of the beaded seat cover made famous by taxi drivers. One of my co-workers has one and absolutely raved about it. Apparently it works by distributing your weight across the beads so that you don’t develop any “hot spots” on your butt. I was skeptical that something as hard as a mat of beads would help my riding comfort, but I was willing to try.

I should have trusted my instincts.
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As you ride, you learn from your mistakes — and thanks to the Internet, the failings of others. Here’s an installment of random motorcycling tips I’ve picked up along the way.

Learning to park a motorcycle isn’t as easy as it seems. There’s a lot of stuff that can go wrong … like say, GRAVITY. Most “0 MPH crashes” I’ve read about, saw, or :cough: experienced can be prevented if you follow a few basics. Today I’m going to discuss dismounting a motorcycle and using the side stand.
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Part of responsible firearm ownership is keeping your guns out of the wrong hands. Most times when we think “wrong hands” we imagine a thief. More frequently, wrong hands belong to someone who doesn’t know how to handle a firearm safely. Unfortunately, some children (and adults, too) don’t know the basics of firearm safety:

1. ALWAYS keep the gun pointed in a safe direction.
2. ALWAYS keep your finger off the trigger until ready to shoot.
3. ALWAYS keep the gun unloaded until ready to use.

Taken from the NRA’s Gun Safety Rules page.

Sometimes educating your friends and family about firearms isn’t enough. They might bring over some other blockhead whose parents didn’t do the wise thing and teach them about firearm safety. So it’s safest just to keep your firearms unloaded and locked up whenever possible. Some states have put legislation in place to hold gun owners responsible if someone is injured or killed due to an unsecured firearm. Don’t be that guy.

I keep all of my firearms in a very heavy, stand-up safe. I’ve had it for awhile, but have never reviewed it due to security reasons. Sometimes I need to put a pistol away for a short period of time, or want to secure it close to me, like on my bedroom nightstand. Some folks leave their handguns in their cars, and the glovebox isn’t a very good place to store a pistol. HOMAK makes a line of small, relatively secure lockboxes that fit the bill just fine.
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This is the one thousandth published post on Gibberish Is My Native Language. What does over four years of posts add up to?
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Mounting a GPS to your car is usually straightforward: you either suction cup it to the dashboard or windshield, or perhaps clip it to an air vent, or even a custom mount like this one I use for my old Garmin i5.

On a motorcycle, things are a bit different. Real estate is at a premium, and you don’t want your accessories getting in the way of your instrument cluster. Furthermore, if you’re one to put a GPS on your motorcycle in the first place you probably want some other shit on there too. Next thing you know, you’ll have a radar detector (where legal, of course), CB radio, satellite radio receiver, and a chain gun. Some fellows have taken to building dashboards and other contraptions, while others have tried to mount stuff creatively on other parts of the bike. Folks who are really desperate have to do both.

I only have my Garmin Nuvi 360 GPS unit for now, but here’s how I mounted it on my 2009 Yamaha FJR1300A.
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I sold my first motorcycle, a 2005 Yamaha FZ6, to my friend and co-worker Rocky almost a month ago. He has ridden it to work a fair amount, and it is nice to see Cylon in the parking lot. On Saturday, Rocky asked if I wanted to accompany him to Charlottesville. He needed to get a minor part replaced. Any reason to get out and ride is a good one, and following my first bike was an even better reason.

The weather was beautiful: sunny, just a little crisp, and clear. We set out at nine in the morning.
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Part of safe motorcycling is comfortable motorcycling. Any time spent thinking about discomfort detracts from your ability to pay attention. It might be the weird stitching inside your glove, or how hot your feet are, but that sort of stuff adds up.

I wear tall, wool blend socks (Bridgedale knee high ski socks and SmartWool knee high snowboarder socks) as a way to control sweat and temperature. They work great for keeping my foot temperature as regulated as possible, even if they happen to get wet. Unfortunately, as all socks do, they tend to sag over time. When mid-calf socks turn to “quitters” it’s annoying. When knee high socks slouch inside of an 8″ boot and underneath leather riding pants, it’s a constant source of discomfort. You can’t really reach down and pull them up at a stop light.

I started looking at ways to keep my socks up. And that, my friends, is why you are about to read a review on men’s garters.
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