By October 13, 2005

Ah, relatives.

So, I haven’t heard from my Aunt Donna in … well, at least over six years. No hi how are you, no whatever. I get an email from her today with the subject line: PLEEEEEASE REEEEAD! IT WAS ON GOOD MORNING AMERICA TODAY SHOW …

Oh my god. It can’t be. Six fucking years and you’re going to send me a spam chain mail letter?

THIS IS PROBABLY BOGUS, LIKE MOST INTERNET CHAIN LETTERS, BUT, HECK, IT’S
WORTH A TRY.
I OPENED THE ATTACHMENT (DON’T RECOMMEND DOING THAT, AND NO VIRUS ALARMS
WENT OFF).
HERE’S THE MESSAGE:

thought this was a scam myself, But two weeks after receiving this e-mail
> > and forwarding it on. Microsoft
contacted me for my address and
> >withindays, &! gt; receive a check for $24,800.00. You need to respond
> >before the beta testing is over. If anyone can affoard this, Bill gates
> >is the man.
> >
> >
> >It’s all marketing expense to him. Please forward this to as many people
> >as possible. You are bound to get at least $10,000.00 We’re not going to
> >help them out with their e-mail beta test without getting a little
> >something for our time. My brother’s girlfriend got in on this a few
> >months ago. When i went to visit him for the Baylor/UT game. She showed
> >me her check. It was for the sum of $4,324.44 and was stamped “Paid in
> >full”

ARRRGH!!! What the fuck is wrong with you motherfuckers? Did you spend all of your retirement money and have to hassle me for some chump change? Jesus shit!

ps — thanks for all the support after my sister died, but I guess it’s okay to help you out with your quasi Nigerian scam scheme. Jacknut.

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