By November 17, 2008

Geekfood: DrFaulken’s pot roast recipe

I like to eat. I am also lazy. This often creates a problem where I am hungry, but can’t be bothered to cook. I wind up going out to eat, even if I am by myself. I spent about $600 last month on dining out, and then another $250 – 300 on groceries. Granted, sometimes I pick up the tab for my cutie or a friend, but the majority of that expense is spent on solo dining.

So, what’s a geek to do who doesn’t like to spend a lot of time cooking, wants to save money, and loves to eat?

Slow cooking, baby. I start a pot of chili or a pot roast early Saturday morning and let it cook all day. I eat a portion for dinner, then refrigerate and/or freeze the rest.

Here’s my recipe for pot roast, taken mostly from this one on It is definitely a predator version of your typical pot roast. I am on a pre-diabetic diet; as such I avoid carrots and potatoes.


  • 3 – 4 pounds of chuck or round. Some people will use top round; I run on a high fat and protein diet so bottom round doesn’t bother me.
  • 10.5 ounce can of condensed French onion soup.
  • 8 ounces of sliced mushrooms.
  • 1 big ass yellow onion, cut into big slices.
  • 2 tablespoons of unbleached flour.
  • 1 tablespoon minced garlic.
  • 2 teaspoons pepper.
  • 2 teaspoons basil flakes.
  • 1 teaspoon chili powder.


  1. Turn the slow cooker on high.
  2. Cut the meat into four pieces. Put the meat into the slow cooker.
  3. Dump the condensed French onion soup into the slow cooker.
  4. Let it cook for about an hour (or whatever). Switch the slow cooker to low. Add onions and mushrooms.
  5. Cook for the rest of the day. I’d say cook it for at least six hours. Add the spices whenever you feel like it.
  6. Stir it, like, twice.

Here’s the key to this recipe: don’t give a fuck. Aside from putting the meat in first, everything else is optional and the timing is “whenever.” Don’t cube the meat up, that takes effort. The slow cook will soften the meat up, you can use a turner or ladel to break the four big-ass pieces into smaller ones. If you want to put potatoes in there, go on with your bad self. Hate mushrooms? Who cares. Don’t have chili powder? Put some other shit in there. I even buy that garlic-in-a-jar pre-minced stuff. I can’t be bothered to take the skin off of the cloves and mince it myself.

Total prep time, including wondering where you put the flour: ten minutes.
Total cook time: ten hours, nine of which were on “low.”
Total cleanup time: ten minutes.

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2 Comments on "Geekfood: DrFaulken’s pot roast recipe"

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  1. Starbucks says:

    It was very yummy and would taste good over potatoes 🙂

  2. Agreschn says:

    This… sounds very yummy. I would do this for dinner this weekend but the girlfriend and I are heading home to see family and for Grey Cup which means we won’t be home to cook… maybe next weekend, though.