By July 7, 2006

Is this going to be a standup fight, Sir, or another bug hunt?

Lady Jaye was out on the back deck today when she noticed the dogs were playing with something. Thinking it was another baby bird that they’d captured, she called them over. Imagine her horror when they dropped this little monstrosity:


It was still alive, even though half of its back was torn off by our curious pups. The thing’s mandibles opened and closed frantically, looking for any small child it could in order to regenerate, or perhaps relink itself to the demon realm. Or maybe it was just scared. I sure as hell was.

“Get that fucking thing away from me,” I said, muting my conference call. I swear I could ride this thing.

I took Inara out to get her oil changed during the lunch hour. I received this ominous text message: “found another specimen.” Attached was another beetle, dead, on its back. Like a good biologist, Lady Jaye put it in a tupperware container. A tupperware container that must now be cleansed by fire, but that’s another issue. She kindly left a note that read, “DON’T WORRY, IT’S DEAD!” She knows me well 😉

I sent out the APB to Ars, trying to get a positive identification on what we were dealing with. So far no one has come forth with anything definitive. Guesses have included a cicada, a mutant overlord, a stag beetle, and an ancient one who shall not be named.

In the meantime, I took some more snaps of the beastie:





Posted in: gibberish

7 Comments on "Is this going to be a standup fight, Sir, or another bug hunt?"

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  1. Ed says:

    I name it Bob, the Beetle of Evil, steed of Cthulu.

  2. drfaulken says:

    JubJub from Ars thinks that it might be a Hardwood Stump Borer. Its larvae eat oak trees, and can also infest the wood in houses. One report mentions them burrowing into the MOTHERFUCKING CUPBOARD!!

  3. Ed says:

    ‘Termites? We are the things that termites flee!’

    – Bob, steed of Cthulu, the Hardwood Stump Borer of Evil

  4. Bond says:

    OMG NASTY, next thing, you will come home and they will be drinking all your coffee and playing monkey ball.

  5. Markie says:

    Get the 12GA, kill them all!!!
    It is an alien invasion…

  6. cio says:

    I, for one, welcome our new Hardwood Stump Borer overlords

  7. Bond says:

    You could get a monkey to fight the bugs…?