By November 1, 2007

Making Lemonade

I wasn’t going to dress up for Halloween, but after getting axed earlier in the week I decided some holiday spirit would do me good. You’ve already seen the jack o’lantern I did, now it’s time for the costume I put together. It originally started out as a general hick/countryboy concept, but looking back on it I should have put more thought into it and gone as Ted Nugent. I love that guy, and it would give me an excuse to carry around a compound bow.

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I love throwing the devil horns, and nothing sets it off like a curly mullet wig. The wig was by far the most expensive part of the costume, it was $17 at the seasonal Halloween place next to Wal*Mart. I got the rest of the costume at Wal*Mart, except for my belt, camouflage pants, and shoes, which I already owned. The bright orange hunter’s cap was $3, the shirt was $7.95, and the glasses were about $14. Oh yeah, a three pack of wife beaters will run you $5 on sale.

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Goofin’ off with my hunting dog. Porter might hunt for cookies … on a good day.

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Behold my manly mane. Once I got to Starbucks I had to have my hair tied back to meet health regulations. Laffo. I worked in my costume for about three hours. The wig really started to itch as I moved around more, cleaned, and ran dishes. I wore the sunglasses the entire time, I thought I could see pretty well with them on but I was surprised at how bright everything was once I took them off. 🙂

I spoke with either my Oklahoman accent or my hick accent most of the night. Adding a hard “-er” to most words lent a pretty realistic sound to the whole thing. “Cappuccino” became “Cappuchiner,” for example. I enjoyed being able to say “Howdy,” to everyone that walked into the store, and to break out some of the midwestern-isms I can’t really say around here without being looked at funny. I love the word “fixin’,” as in, “I’m fixin’ to make yer drink rat now.” I had fun, and the crowning moment was when I fooled one of our regular customers into thinking I was another co-worker. “Where’s DrFaulken?” she asked right in front of me.

This is the second time I’ve run a redneck costume, although the first time I was a West Virginia Wedding, complete with inflated sex-pig duct-taped to the front of my pants. I know it’s a bit of a rehash, but damn I like dressing up as a countryboy. It’s too much fun, and I like giving a friendly nod back to my roots. I am convinced I would look a lot like this outfit had I stayed in Oklahoma. Well, all except for the hair.

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4 Comments on "Making Lemonade"

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  1. Ed says:

    Costume? I have seen you wear that at the roller derby and tractor pulls with me several times?

  2. drfaulken says:

    In all honesty, I was a little afraid that I would offend some of the regulars. Some of our customers look a LOT like my costume, and they’re not dressing up.

  3. ConFigures says:

    Great costume, the wig really makes it! Hee hee.

    “I’m fixin’ to make yer drink rat now.” — man, I can *hear* that!

  4. Ed says:

    Any of the good old boys who doesn’t find that funny needs to slap themselves. It is frigging hilarious.