By June 14, 2013

Nope nope nope

That’s what Sedagive?’s older son Gojira said as he backed away from the basement stairwell. His younger brother G-Unit giggled like a boy possessed.

What caused such a stir?

A multi-legged monstrosity that I’ve battled both in Minnesota and in the Commonwealth of Virginia.

The house centipede.


This one had quite the successful life. It was about two and a half inches long in the body, with an overall length of over five inches. I smashed the shit out of it with my shoe.

There isn’t much in common between Minnesota and Virginia, and unfortunately the house centipede is one of them.

I’ve felt phantom centipede crawling over my legs and the back of my neck ever since I started writing this.

Posted in: gibberish

4 Comments on "Nope nope nope"

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  1. James says:

    Yep! That would have caused me a massive freak out and bug murdering spree.

  2. Erik says:


  3. Ecurb says:

    Don’t worry, there’s a simple way to deal with this:
    just stay calm, burn your house down, and keep running north until you see polar bears.

  4. papadage says:

    They beat the living hell out of the monstrosities that occasionally get into the houses in the Aegean. Eight to ten inches long, ugly purple, and very venomous and aggressive. My grandmother had to be airlifted to a larger island with a real hospital after getting bitten by one.