That’s not my stripper stage name, that’s what I used to order at Chipotle. Chicken burrito with rice, black beans, corn salsa, and lettuce. Sure, the burrito weighs over a pound, but how bad could it possibly be?

It’s like eating a pound of death, that’s how fucking bad it is.

Chipotlefan.com has a calculator you can use to determine how many calories your favorite item has. In my case, it’s over a thousand calories. Items of nutritional interest include over 2700mg of salt and a retarded 138g of carbohydrates. Hoooly shit. Well, the good news is I’ll go back to my low-carb triple cheeseburgers at Five Guys. Thanks to Fishsprout for pointing this out to me.

If you are a current/past Chipotle consumer, how much does your favorite item weigh?

Chipotle Nutrition Facts
Serving Size:
1 Burrito

Amount Per Serving

Calories 1024 Calories from Fat 260
% DV*
Total Fat 29g
Saturated Fat 5g
Cholesterol 96mg
Sodium 2759mg
Total Carbohydrate 138g
Dietary Fiber 12.5g
Sugars 4g
Protein 54g
Vitamin A 108%
Vitamin C 35%
Calcium 23%
Iron 28%

Chipotle Nutrition Results provided by:
Chipotle Fan.com