Duke and I saw the Transformers movie yesterday. I am not going to go into the actual movie here, as some of you may not have seen it yet and I want to avoid spoiling it. I’ll just note that The Patented DrFaulken Movie Prediction Systemâ„¢ was correct again.

On to the trailer summary.

The Patented DrFaulken Movie Prediction Systemâ„¢
For those of you who haven’t been to a movie in the theater with me yet, I have a very trusted and accurate system for judging if the film will be good or not. I follow the previews before the film. I award one point for a good trailer. I deduct one point for a trailer for a movie that I wouldn’t want to see, or runs counter to the movie’s genre. For example, seeing a trailer for Pride & Prejudice before Alien vs. Predator is minus one point. By the way, the MPS properly determined that AvP would be utter shit.

  • Hot Rod: starring Adam Samberg from Saturday Night Live (and Dick in the Box fame) as a wannabe stuntman. I am not usually a fan of SNL-cast movies, but this one looked enjoyable. +1.
  • I Am Legend: the classic sci-fi story comes to the silver screen. Will Smith stars as the last (?) human survivor after civilization crumbles. There has been a lot of flak over Smith getting the role, but I think this movie is going to rock. +1.
  • The Game Plan: quick, what’s shrinking faster than the Rock’s muscles? His career. The Game Plan pits the Rock against a little girl who claims to be his daughter. This is the Scorpion King version of Vin Diesel’s The Pacifier. Come on guys, we liked you because you flexed nuts and blew shit up. “Twins” and “Kindergarten Cop” type movies only work for Arnold. Fucking -1.
  • The Simpsons Movie: I wasn’t excited about this film until I saw the trailer yesterday. The film looks like a hoot, and the colors were so vibrant on the big screen I might actually see this in the theater. The end of the trailer had everyone laughing out loud for quite some time. +1.
  • Untitled JJ Abrams monster movie: the link is to a write-up of the trailer and a synopsis of this ultra-secret film by LOST creator JJ Abrams. The trailer does not have a title, and does not have any real information about the film, which is due out in January of 2008. I thought that it was a trailer for a new Godzilla movie, but that does not seem to be the case. The best part of the trailer is at the end, the theater was shocked silent. +1.

Trailer total: +3. Hell yeah. The trailer synopsis fit Transformers overall: some great action, some good comedy, and a few rolleyes/groaner moments. Michael Bay did an outstanding job of referencing the Transformers cartoon and movie without turning the film into a live-action recreation of original material. For example, sometimes the familiar transform sound effects can be heard intermingled with the newer, more mechanical sound effects when the Transformers change modes, but not always. It’s a gentle nod to the fans, if you know what you’re looking/listening for.

I try not to tell my friends if I like a movie or not, but give them a sliding scale on when they should see it:

  • Pay full price at the theater.
  • See the matinee.
  • Rent it.
  • TiVo it.
  • Don’t see it. Don’t even let your worst enemy see it.

If you prided yourself on staying inside all day and memorizing sonnets and reading Satre as a child, then you will not enjoy Transformers. However, if you jumped your BMX bike off of a crude homemade ramp while screaming out “AUTOBOTS, TRANSFORM AND ROLL OUT!!!” and your best friend was a Ravage cassette tape in your back pocket, then you need to see Transformers ASAP. You won’t be disappointed, I promise.