By November 27, 2005

What the hell are you doing?

I don’t know if it’s something most people experience as you approach (or slightly surpass) their third decade, but a lot of my friends and I have been looking at our careers and asking, “why am I doing this?” Alexa isn’t happy with her new job, even going so far as to pack up her cube — and she’s only been there for two weeks. Some of my friends would rather be closer to family and loved ones, but know the financial timing isn’t right for a move. We aren’t happy with our work, but we keep going through the motions, because we don’t know what else to do.

A four day weekend and a suddenly departed boss led me to do some thinking about my career and my life in general. I’m tired of the uncertainties forced upon me by my current employer. Every six months there’s a round of reorganization, layoffs, shuffling around projects, killing off old ideas and barnstorming new ones. They’ve hired someone new to replace my old boss, but who knows what that’s going to be like. Will he ask me to move to California? Will he stand behind my efforts to organize a front end development team? Or will he ignore me completely?

These questions, and more, they make me wonder why I’m doing this job at all. And not just the role in my current employer, but the entire Web/software development space. This summer will mark a decade in this field. Is this what I want to be doing for another ten years?

If all debts were paid, and your obligations could be met, what would you do? Are you doing what you want to be doing with your life? What the hell are you doing? What the hell am I doing?

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