By August 16, 2007

Yes, yes I am.

I had just left the house on my motorcycle the other day when I passed by two neighbor kids. I normally roll by at 20MPH or so until I hit the main street that leads out of our development. My bike isn’t super loud, but I don’t want to draw too much attention to myself. There are also a lot of kids in my neighborhood, and who knows what kind of weird shit they’ll try to do. As such, the two neighborhood boys were able to run close alongside me. They waved like two dudes stranded on an island desperate to flag down a rescue plane. I waved back with my left hand (the throttle’s on the right).

“HAAY!” one of them screamed. “GIVE US A RIDE!”

I shook my head at them. One, I don’t take passengers. Two, I don’t really like kids. Three, they weren’t wearing any protective gear, and I don’t own helmets that fit midgets.

The boys frowned. “YOU’RE MEAN!!” the first boy shouted.

“Yes,” I replied, nodding my helmeted head. “Yes I am.”

I broke my rule and cranked hard on the throttle. Cylon screamed. Exhaust poofed out like smoke from a dragon’s nostrils. I dipped low on the right side of my bike, and disappeared around the corner.

Posted in: motorcycling

4 Comments on "Yes, yes I am."

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  1. Stomper says:

    Seems like the smartest thing to have done. Even if you liked kids and if you didn’t have concerns about protective gear and if you did take passengers there are still the parental units and their reactions. Let’s see Doc in jail for kidnapping or being sued for the kids getting hurt. Yeah, even if you didn’t feel the way you do about things – it sounds like a bad idea.

    My parents used to freak because a neighbor lady would let me go around the lake on the paddle board with her without any life preserver or floatation device – even after they had talked to her about it several times. I’d lay odds in this day and age her butt would have been in jail after the second or third occasion. It was pretty easy to escape the clutches of my babysitters and head down to the beach.

  2. RawCode says:

    Such a dramatic exit!

    Like the ending of a great movie, you left them wanting more.

  3. Ed says:

    Now you just need to show up at their window at night, flash the lights at them, and then when they come out for their midnight ride you crank the throttle and drive off laughing. A new legend can be born!

  4. Essie says:

    LMAO! Oh man that makes me laugh…