By September 5, 2006

Zombie Survival Test

Thanks to an ArsTechnica thread about zombie invasions, I found this zombie survival test. Granted, it has some spelling/grammar errors, but you can figure it out.

Oddly enough, I have my Zombie Survival Guide, Field Guide to the Apocalypse, and the US Army Survival manual out on our puzzle table.

An added tidbit: Max Brooks, author of the Zombie Survival Guide and son of Mel Brooks, is coming out with a new book soon: World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War. I’m not keen on buying the hardback, I wonder if my neighborhood suburbia library will carry it? 🙂

Anyway, on to my ranking:

Zombie Master.
You scored 77% survivability and 54% kickass-ability!
You were born for z-day. Not only will you be killing zombies left and right, but you will be leading the other survivors. You will be the one making decisions and the person who is looked to for advice. Congratulations.

My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 99% on survivability
You scored higher than 99% on kickass-ability

Link: The Non-lame Zombie Survival Test written by jesmanpokeyfun on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

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13 Comments on "Zombie Survival Test"

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  1. Ed says:

    Hmm, you scored 1% higher than me. Must be those damn gun skills of yours. I just make it by on pure ruthlessness…

    Zombie Master.
    You scored 76% survivability and 57% kickass-ability!
    You were born for z-day. Not only will you be killing zombies left and right, but you will be leading the other survivors. You will be the one making decisions and the person who is looked to for advice. Congratulations.

  2. Ed says:

    Hrrm, I just filled it out again giving every wussy answer I could think of, and still ended up a Zombie Master. I am not sure about this test.

  3. drfaulken says:

    That’s disconcerting. Even though the Zombie Master ranking was the same, was your write-up different? I could see that avoiding conflict and making others do your dirty work as helping your longetivity.

  4. Ed says:

    The exact same write-up. Also, when I looked at the side panel (which tells you what everyone else is getting) most people seemed about the same. You might have to put up a real one. Question like :

    Six year old Jenny (whose Mommy got eaten earlier) is all bloody, you can’t tell if she has been infected yet. Do you :
    a) Child was useless anyways, stake her out on the napalm bomb and use as zombie bate to get rid of nearby ones
    b) Assign someone to keep an eye on her, at first sign of trouble off with her head
    c) The child must live, her blood could be the key. If she changes, you will find ways to keep her fed and docile
    d) When noone is looking whisper to her that you think you saw mommy back in that warehouse, watch her run off too her doom, tell the boss that you haven’t seen her recently…

  5. roclar says:

    I sort of got a different answer:

    Survivor
    You scored 75% survivability and 50% kickass-ability!
    You will survive the outbreak, but you will only kill a couple zombies if any. You will survive the outbreak by working with others or piggybacking off their work.

    Still…a 50% kickass ability for moi? I dont think so…this test is le jacked.

    Edit:

    Here is my pictar from it:

  6. Markie says:

    Zombie Master.

    You scored 75% survivability and 62% kickass-ability!

    You were born for z-day. Not only will you be killing zombies left and right, but you will be leading the other survivors. You will be the one making decisions and the person who is looked to for advice. Congratulations.

  7. Survivor. Whew!

    I think I’ve taken that test before, though.

  8. albinoChimp says:

    Zombie Master.
    You scored 62% survivability and 70% kickass-ability!
    You were born for z-day. Not only will you be killing zombies left and right, but you will be leading the other survivors. You will be the one making decisions and the person who is looked to for advice. Congratulations.

    Hrrm kickin more ass, but not surviving as long, oh well. If you have cigars and booze, ill let you in.

  9. Markie says:

    I think you should definitely pair up the firearms reviews with Zombie tests in any future postings.

  10. Morghan says:

    Did anyone get a DOA on this? 66 survive 70 kick-ass the first time, 81 survive 60 kick-ass, playing it as safe as I possibly would on the answers, now I’m trying just plain dumb answers to try and get myself written off as a victim and the results are….

    Zombie Hunter
    You scored 45% survivability and 60% kickass-ability!
    You will survive about a week or two into the outbreak. However, you will probably kill fourty or fifty zombies before you turn. Happy hunting.

    Okay, so it at least says I’d die with all the dumb answers, but the way I answered I wouldn’t have lasted the first day, let alone a week or two, and I might have got one zombie if we fell off of something together when it was busy biting me.

    There is definatly something wrong with this test.

  11. drfaulken says:

    Hey Morghan, welcome to Gibberish!

    You’re right — there is something definitely wrong with the test. As you can tell, most of us got the same basic level of survivability, even though we all chose different answers.

    I have been charting my own zombie test, but it would be complicated as hell to implement given the free/public quiz engines.

  12. Ed says:

    Your own test! You must set it up!

  13. Alex says:

    Zombie Master.
    You scored 77% survivability and 54% kickass-ability!
    You were born for z-day. Not only will you be killing zombies left and right, but you will be leading the other survivors. You will be the one making decisions and the person who is looked to for advice. Congratulations.

    For all of you with lower scores, stick by me.